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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26493433">Can I say I love you?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairos31/pseuds/Kairos31'>Kairos31</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stray Kids (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>3RACHA, Bottom Han Jisung | Han, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, I'm Bad At Tagging, Light Angst, M/M, Secret Crush, Top Lee Minho | Lee Know, minho is a bit coward, side ships maybe, soonie doongi dori might appear</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 11:55:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>22,032</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26493433</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kairos31/pseuds/Kairos31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Right before the comeback on a drunken and passionate night Han and Lee know sleep together, but the next day Han wakes up alone and Minho avoids him.</p><p>The summary is pathetic but it's just Han being in love with Minho that fights against his own feelings, and how having slept together and dealing with their feelings threat his friendship and the harmony inside the group.<br/>It's based on real life so they're part of stray kids as a Kpop group. I don't know how long it will be, it's just an idea I had for some time, sorry if it's terrible it's my first fanfic.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Jisung | Han/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>339</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Waking up</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi everyone, nice to meet you! I had this idea for quite some time and I finally decided to try and write it, I'm still not sure of what's gonna happen, since it's based on real life I'll probably add moments that happened or are going to happen while I write it but in the point of view of the story. I'm terrible at explaining but I hope you understood. It's a bit angsty, but not that deep...</p><p>Enjoy reading!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The alarm set off a long ago and a very tired Jisung was lying troubled on the bed in the hotel room, when suddenly a knock on the door accompanied by his phone ringing woke him up. He slowly opened his eyes trying to figure out where he was and recollect memories from thw night before ans once he finally remembered it all he knew why he was such in a miserable state: he had sex for the first time. He reached for his phone and seeing his leader name appear on the screen he answered immediately "Han, where the hell are you? We're all having breakfast and about to leave!" he didn't sound angry, but more worried "Oh I'm sorry hyung, I slept over. I'm coming down in 10" he rubbed his eyes still processing everything that was happening "I sent Felix to help you, so better be 5" and like that he hung up. That explained who was knocking at the door but he needed to compose himself before welcoming his bandmate. He sat up on the bed and a sharp pain hit him and spread through all his body, it looked like sitting wasn't the best idea. He looked around the room, and although they shared this room Minho was nowhere to be seen, he scanned every detail of his surroundings: his shoes and clothes lying all over the floor, his suitcase alone in the corner and to his own surprise a painkiller with a glass of water on his nightstand. "You got me a painkiller but don't have the guts to face me in the morning huh" Jisung talked alone feeling bitterly disappointed, but he accepted the pill gladly. Once he was conscious enough he decided it was time to let the poor boy standing outside in, he stood up very slowly trying to force his legs to cooperate. "Wow Han, what happened here? Your room looks so messy and you..." Felix gave him a full look before speaking "... You look terrible", Han nodded in awareness, "You stayed up all night watching videos, didn't you?" the younger giggled thinking he got the asnwer right, but the truth couldn't be more different. He nodded again and yawning started packing up as fast as he could, and considering that the painkiller had to yet do his magic his head hurt, he was tired and every movement made his body ache he was indeed very slow. "It shouldn't be like this" he whined while picking up his t-shirt from the ground "What did you say?" Felix asked about his mumbling but Jisung shook his head and continued his packing. "Uhm Sungie, why don't you wash up and get ready while I finish packing your stuff?" Felix concerned tone made Jisung realize he must have had a pitiful image at that moment, so without being told twice he reached for the bathroom and closed the door behind him. Now that he was alone and looking at himself in the mirror he truly understood what a mess he was. His hair weren't the major problem but they were all over the place, his face was pale and he couldn't stop his forehead from frowning, he discharged the t-shirt he put on right before letting Felix in and to his disbelief his body had quite a few red spots, luckily they were all under his neck so whatever shirt would've covered them, but it would've been difficult to hide them form the stylists, his shoulders were the most marked part and remembering clearly what position the other loved he was sure he must have looked even worse on the back. He was glad the man was thoughtful enough to mark him somewhere he could have hidden easily, but the pain in his body reminded him he wasn't <em>that<em> thoughtful. He went inside the shower and under the hot falling waterhe was able to relax a bit and forget his ache, even though which bothering him the most wasn't the one in his body but the one in his heart. For a moment he seriously thought that the night changed everything, that he would've woken up in his arms and maybe even have a confession, but what he got was only a painkiller on a nightstand and not even a message or the courtesy of being woken up at the right time.</em></em></p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>After the shower he was feeling way better, he dressed up quickly and joined the others in the hall with Felix. When he arrived everyone applauded him, joking around as to why he was that late and saying atuff like "Finally sleeping beauty woke up" and "I had to send Prince charming to kiss you" while everyone laughed, but in reality he would've loved being kissed good morning, but not by Felix, instead by the person standing behind everyone staring intensely at his phone purposely to avoid meeting his eyes. "Im sorry, let's go" Jisung was disappointed, there was no way in pretending he wasn't, but at the same he felt stupid for even thinking that what they had done would have meant for the other what he meant for him. "Ok so, me, Changbin, Felix and Hyunjin in one van, and Minho, Jisung, Seungmin and Jeongin in the other" as always, as the leader, Bang Chan decided how to split the members into the vans, but that morning the last thing Jisung wanted was to stay close to a particular someone "Chan, could I come in your van? I... I want to talk about a song... As 3racha you know" he awkwardly handled it and the leader was convinced "Oh okay, it's... Uhm.. 8 am, but yeah sure. Then Hyunjin you'll switch with Han. Ok now let's go!".</em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>"So that's what you did all night? You had inspiration for a new song? "  of course he had no ideas for a new song whatsoever, it was an excuse he invented but he was already too deep into his lie that he had to find something to say "Yeah, so... I was thinking... Why don't we write a song about being heartbroken" he spat out the first thing that came into his mind, but it wasn't such a bad idea, he could work with that "like being used by someone you love and then thrown away. Raised your expectations only to end disappointed and hurt" he knew he was being too harsh with his words but deep inside that is what he was feeling. The others members of 3racha looked at him a little confused "You thought all night about this or is it something you thought during breakfast?" Changbin wasn't very convinced and Han knew the reason, in fact when he truly had an idea he would present the full project with base and lyrics already made, even in 10 minutes he could write a whole song, there was no way all he got was such a vague idea "I think it's a good idea. Work on it" Bang Chan smiled at him and gave him a pat on the shoulder, "but for now I think you need some rest, the trip will be long so sleep a bit okay? " he put on his headphones and closed his eyes while changbin moved back on his seat at the back next to Felix and watched him play videogames on his phone.</em>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Dare</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone! <br/>Did you watch Ex MV? I loved it so much!<br/>Omg everyone looked so fine, and everything was so aesthetic...Han was so cute sniffing the shirt and dancing with it, it made me really soft, and Minho's visuals killed me, how is he that hot even drinking water?</p><p>Anyways I hope you enjoy the chapter and thank you so much all for reading it &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The car stopped and all the members got down one by one, except for Han that was still sleeping with his face on the window unaware of the arrival, "I'll wake hin up, you go ahead" Chan told the members while getting back into the van to wake the sleepyhead. When the last two members arrived everyone was already dressed up and having their make up done, everyone gave them a round of applause to mock them being late "Lee Know, are you happy now? You're boyfriend's here" they always joke around like that but in that moment neither of them could laugh at the joke " He asked where you were 3 times in the past 5 minutes" everyone was laughing, Han and Minho had always sticked to each other, they were comfortable around each other since the first day they met, Han had said more than once that he was his soulmate, what no one ever understood is that the meaning of his words went beyond friendship and had it involved some sort of romantic feeling. But no one knew this and no one ever should have known it, not even Minho. "Guys, you can have fun in the variety but remember to not get too tired, we have dance practice later" Chan announced when everyone was ready and waiting for the staff to prepare the room for the live, "Uhm.." Jisung was on the couch, eyes closed and head thrown back to rest, when he heard someone mumbling beside him, and after some couching finally speak "How are you feeling?" he didn't need to open his eyes to recognize that voice, but the truth is he had already recognized the scent when he sat down, this was the first thing he said to him that day, that morning, after what they've done the night before. It wasn't bad for a first thing, he had expected something worse or nothing at all, although he had wished for him to say something waking up in the same bed and not after 4 hours, but it was something. Jisung gulped all the words he wished to say and instead nod quietly without looking at him.</p><p>"Hyung help me, the zipper is stuck!" Jeongin called Minho and reluctantly he stood up and helped the maknae, once he left the couch Han opened his eyes slowly and watched his back while he tried to zip the other's jacket. His body was still aching and he knew they had an interview, with games and activities and later dance practice too, and there was no way he could handle all that in that condition, he spotted Seungmin retouching his hair by the mirror and approached him "Hey, since you always carry everything and you're basically a walking pharmacy, do you have a painkiller perhaps?" the younger member gave him a questioning glance but before he could ask Jisung explained "My head's hurting me" or better, he lied "That's because you stay up all night on your phone" he scolded him but still gave him the box "Just take one, if you feel too sick tell Chan, he'll let you rest you know" Han nodded and took the medicine beside the water dispenser outside the room. Every hour that passed he wanted to curse at the man but mostly at himself for letting the other have his way with him. </p><p>Somehow he ended up sitting close to Minho, even though he tried his best not to he was now sandwiched between Minho and Felix, and sitting down on those hard stools wasn't a pleasurable experience for him at all. "Let's play a game now!" the interviewer excitedly announced and everyone screamed happily, Han had to play his part and yelled too, although inside he wished to be laying on his bed. "So everyone draws a ball from the misery box and pairs are gonna be made, then each pair has to do a dare written on a paper you'll pick from this box I'm holding". And that's how pairs were made.<br/>
Bang Chan and Jeongin<br/>
Hyunjin and Seungmin<br/>
Changbin and Felix<br/>
And not for the <em>joy <em> of the two members the last pair was: Minho and Jisung.</em></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <em>The first two had to whistle the national anthem together, Hyunjin and Seungmin sang a cute song together, and Felix and Changbin hugged each other for a whole minute while being visibly blushing and embarrassed the whole time. "Next Han and Lee Know, you have to..." the man read the card they've picked before and Han hoped it would've been something easy and rapid where he could've avoided looking at him or being touched "look into your eyes and give each other three compliments each" and that's how his wishes disappeared.<br/>
Not only he had to look into his eyes and try his best not to blush or be embarrassed, or even scream at him, but he also needed to think fast of three compliments.<br/>
When they locked eyes there was something different than the usual glittering in Minho's stare, for a second there Jisung read it as restlessness, like he didn't feel good to be there but at the same time it was what he had wanted fron the start, but the more he looked into Jisung's eyes his reflected the same concern, almost fear.<br/>
Minho decided to start first "you're talented" and gave him a basic compliment, as Han thought, but since in that moment Han wasn't eager to compliment the guy he ended up saying the first thing that came to his mind "you're good on your own"  in some ways it could be considered as a compliment, but he defintely didn't intend it as one.<br/>
"You're cute" everyone squealed hearing Minho's words but Han hated that his heart almost fluttered because of them.<br/>
"Nothing affects you" he spat out more angrily that he should have and before thinking it wasn't the right thing to say in an interview millions of fans would have watched, everyone around them didn't utter a word but instead looked at him weirdely, "Is that a compliment?"  Minho was confused too and Chan frowned a bit but recovered the moment immediately by clapping his hands  and laughing "Han, you always like to joke around and mess with your hyung" the other members followed him and even the mc was convinced<br/>
" You're straightforward" Minho fired back looking intensely in his eyes, his firm tone and cold stare made Jisung speechless  "You... you're..." he didn't know what to say, no compliment was in his mind, no lie to say, he wanted to tell him how much he was hurt since that morning, how much it hurt him waking up in an empty bed, not receiving even one message or one look from the other, how he gave up easily in the waiting room. He wanted to tell him everything he was feeling, how he hated him, but the truth was and always would be "No matter what you do, I can't hate you".</em>
  </em>
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  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dance practice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Han! Wrong! Again..." Bang Chan was a great friend and an amazing leader, but that meant that in stressful situation, when they're closer to a performance, or a comeback, he's very strict. Everyone must be perfect. And that day just wasn't Jisung's day   "Can you please put more energy into those few moves we've been repeating for the last hour?"<br/>"Charisma!" Changbin screamed to pump Han, but other than a forced smile he didn't get much reply, or success.<br/>Jisung knew he was being a mess, he knew the moves but it was like his body didn't respond to him, everytime he tried doing something it came out sloppy and basically wrong, he didn't have energy and his mind was elsewhere "Stop, let's stop. Han Jisung what's wrong with you?" Chan was getting a little mad, but he was mostly worried "Maybe it's better if we all take 5, hyung don't worry, I rehearsed yesterday with Han and he was pefect, it's probably just a bad day, let him be c'mon" Minho, that until that moment hadn't said a word, had now helped Han and reassured Chan in just a few sentences. He was glad, but since after all it was all bis fault Jisung would've never thanked him.</p><p>Everyone sat down, drank some water and stretched a bit while Jisung was looking at the box of painkillers that Seungmin gave to him before and that he placed in his bag, they did helped him out the whole day but the third one he took when dance practice started didn't seem to be working as good, but it was too soon to take another one. "How are you feeling?" startled Jisung shoved the box into his bag and turned to face Seungim who had just sat beside him "How's your headache?"</p><p>"Don't worry Seungminnie I'm fine, just a bit tired and I can't seem to grasp onto the dance moves today. Sorry for slowing you all down" <br/>"Don't even say it, we're more worried about you than the dance. If you don't feel good don't push yourself, it'll only be worse"<br/>"Go home and rest" someone spoke out and when Jisung heard his heart skipped a beat, he raised his head to look at the person in front of him, the one he wanted to come home with him and hug him to sleep, but even for this merely desire Han felt stupid and angry at himself "I'm fine" he instead replayed cold and distant, just as the other was being "No, you're not and before I shove you into the van myself go home" his tone and words were harsh but anyone that knew him a bit could understand he was actually being caring. Jisung was looking st his feet, all member's eyes on him, quedtioning, worrying, but he didn't want the pity of no one, he didn't want to look weak "I said I'm fine, my head only hurted a bit but I'm gonna take a pill and it'll disappear" he said right before taking out one of the pills<br/>"You already took one before lunch, don't stuff yourself with those" Seungim interrupted him <br/>"Wait Han, so this would be the second today?" Hyunjin didn't sound happy to know that <br/>"The third... Isn't it?" Minho corrected him. <br/>"The fourth..." Han shyly answered with the truth, but when everyone realised what he said they rushed to take the pills out of his hands<br/>"Are you crazy? It's only 4 pm, that's way too many. Go rest, what's wrong with you. Why push yourself like this? If you're not feeling good we're all here to support you and gladly let you rest, we need you healthy not stuffed with painkillers, they're not candies and can only hide the pain for bit" Chan scolded him as a father would while Felix and Seungmin were next to him rubbing his back to soothe him. He looked at Minho staring at him with an unreable expression on his face, was he worried? Angry? Disappointed? Or just feeling guilty? <br/>"You should've told me" Minho's cold tone now disappeared and was replaced by a weak one, almost as he was afraid to speak<br/>"How? If you ignor-" <br/>"I asked you, didn't I?" he interrupted him raising his voice<br/>"You think that's enough?... Whatever makes you sleep at night" Jisung shrugged his shoulders and broke eye contact with him<br/>"Guys don't fight please. Now we all know Han has an headache, and he will now go rest at the dorm while we practice for a few hours. At 6 pm we have a vlive, but I'll make sure we can do it at home so if Han feels better he can join whenever he wants and doesn't have to come here" everyone nodded and agreed to Chan "Come on Jisung, I'll take you to the van and tell managers about it. You others start practice again"</p><p>Jisung packed his stuff and took his bag but before he could reach the door a hand stopped him by his wrist, he turned around to find Minho looking at him intensely, as he was studying him, he wanted to know if he hated him, if he was hurting that bad, if he had ruined it all, and he had a lot of things to say but nothing was coming out of his mouth <br/>"He'll be fine Lee Know, you can talk later at the dorm" Chan pulled Han closer to him and the door making Minho let go of his grip, but the look on Jisung's face right before the door closed behind him was telling Minho something else, it was asking him to go with him, to not leave him alone again, to talk to him, and it was begging.</p><p>Jisung was climbing into the van when he heard someone panting behind him "Minho?" Chan was startled "What-" <br/>"I'm going with him.  Someone has to take care of him and I already know the dance perfectly, plus I wouldn't do any good staying there while being worried about him"  at this statement Chan couldn't do much but to agree, he knew better than anyone that if Minho had something in his mind no one could stop him, and he saw how worried he looked before in the practice room "The bond between you two is incredible, no one can separate you, see you at the dorm" he mumbled chuckling and shaking his head while heading back inside.</p><p>Minho was now sat down next to Han and the latter was staring at him with glistening eyes, he wished he would've come but never truly believed it.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for reading my story, I hope you're enjoying it!<br/>I'll give you a little spoiler: <br/>next chapter is gonna explain in details what happened on their night...</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. THE NIGHT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I'm sorry" Minho broke the awkward silence that filled the car and Jisung wanted to ask what was he apologizing for but he was afraid he wouldn't have liked the answer, so he he didn't ask further, instead he closed his eyes to try resting a bit in the car. Almost immediately Minho's arm circled his head and pushes it on his own shoulder, and surprisingly the gently patting and his perfume calmed Jisung's body and mind. He felt a little less restless, worried, he felt like that was where he's suppose to be, that's what he was missing until then and now that he was sure how could he go back to stay away from it. He knew he had hugged him all night and in the morning when his warmth wasn't there anymore something inside him broke and he felt cold, and lost. He had struggled to look at him and not jump into his arms, to not crumble at every glance he threw at him, he tried so hard to resist his impulses only to end again in his arms and in peace again. There's just something about Minho that has always made him feel safe and at rest, and for someone like him, which mind is constantly working, being afraid of losing everything if it stops for only a minute, being able to find a place, a moment, where resting doesn't feel wrong, where life and people aren't suffocating him is truly a blessing. From the moment they met and gradually got to know each other and becoming friends Jisung has always wanted more and more, he was good with a smile from the older at the beginning to feel better, but soon he wasn't satisfied anymore, every little touch felt every time better, he had found himself yearning for a hug from him more than anything in his life but everything still wasn't enough, until that night. That night he kissed him and held him close, never letting go, he felt his skin burning but it was the best feeling in this world, he finally found out what he needed to finally lose himself into the other and shut his overworking brain completely.</p><p>That night they had drink a little bit more than normal, but they would've not considered themselves totally drunk, in fact they didn't throw up and were very present to their actions, expect they just let their instincts led them. The whole group was at the bar celebrating their soon-to be comeback and as always when Felix drink even half a glass he was very cuddly and touchy and that day it was Han's turn to receive his attentions since he was sitting next to him, but that apparently didn't thrill Minho very much and after the second bottle of beer he had put an arm around Jisung pulling him closer to him and farther from Felix, who decided to put his focus on Changbin instead. When Felix touched Jisung's thigh when laughing at a bad joke Minho emptied his third bottle and with his hand covered  the spot Lix had touched before, squeezing his thigh more than usual, as he was erasing the other's touch, but he still didn't look at Jisung's eyes, instead he kept his face straight in front of him as his hand was slowly moving upwards rubbing his leg covered only a little above the knee because of the shorts he was wearing. When his hand made contact with his skin slipping into the shorts leg Han gasped, but luckily everyone was too busy chatting and laughing to notice anything that was going under the table. When Minho chugged his fourth bottle he had no doubt that what he felt touching his hand under the briefs' fabric was Jisung' hardness, so he stood up "It's late, tomorrow we get up early so we're going to bed" excusing the two of them ge dragged Han away by the wrist gradually accelerating his pace on the way to their room.</p><p>He opened the door and pushed Jisung inside, not giving him a second to realize before crashing their mouths together. The kiss was immediately passionate and wet, the sound of their tongues moving against each other filled the room, and by that time both of them had stopped thinking and let their desires took the lead. Out of breath they separated but in a second Minho pushed Han against the wall with his back facing him, he started kissing his neck from behind and slipped a hand under his shirt to remove it right away. The younger that was now shirtless and with his cheek against the wall was whimpering getting lost into the feeling of Minho's mouth on his nape and shoulder blades, where he was sucking and biting gently.</p><p>He felt the loss of contact for an instant only to realize the older had taken off his shirt too and his bare chest was now pushing him more into the the wall, making him get excited at the feeling of skin to skin. When Minho's hand reached the inside of his boxers Han let a moan escape his lips and as much as he was embarrassed it was only the first of a long series, "Why are you so hard? Is it because of Felix or me?" Minho's question was accompanied by his hand squeezing his member and Han's cry  "Y-you ".</p><p>"Good boy" sounded so lewd in that moment that Han moaned louder than before, which made Minho very satisfied but also more excited, so he turned the other around and went back to kiss him while his hand caught the other's and dragged it to his own hard-on to make Han touch him too.<br/>
Both hands were working simultaneously while their mouths were busy kissing, licking and sucking every spot they found: ears, neck, lips...<br/>
Standing up was tiresome and not that confortable and they had a very soft looking bed next to them, so Minho picked him up and put Han onto the matress positiong himself above him, but not before than throwing off Jisung's pants and underwear in one swift pull.<br/>
The next minutes Jisung isn't sure how it exactly happened but somehow he felt a weird sensation when one finger entered him, it was unexpected but not unwanted, soon they became two fingers and the intrusion wasn't very pleasurable although the hand working on his shaft still was and knowing that it was his Minho doing all that to him was enough to keep moaning shamelessly. When the fingers became three pain arrived but the wetness helped, although Jisung never discovered what the older exactly used, if it was some sort of cream or oil, but he mentally thanked him for using it.</p><p>Minho wasn't sure what he was doing, he had common knowledge about gay sex and how it's done, plus something he randomly read totally out of curiosity, he knew he had to prepare him so it wouldn't hurt but how much or exactly how was something he defintely didn't know, so when he felt Jisung whine less for the pain and the hole felt a little more relaxed too he decide it was enough, but seeing the boy now in pain made him regret that choice thinking it could've been better if he had waited a bit more.<br/>
When he entered him he did it so slowly he felt like dying, but Jisung nails were digging in his back and he was crying so hard that in a moment of awareness he asked him if he was sure and the answers he got  "Please don't stop. Just... Just slower please" gave him permission, also he couldn't refuse a begging Jisung with wet eyes, lip between teeth and head thrown back. Jisung felt his body on fire, every spot that was touched ignited and as much as it was getting harder to breathe he didn't want to stop. In that moment everything felt so natural and so damn right. When Minho tried to go deeper and harder he realized he hit the right spot as Han screamed in pleasure and asked to do it again and again, and as they continued the pain was replaced only by intense pleasure that was readable on Han's expression and cries, and it was driving Minho insane, when the feeling of being inside him was already too much to handle, and that was when he decided to flip the boy over so he was laying on his stomach and get inside him once again, but in the new position that apparently made it easier to reach deeper and continuously hit the spot that made Han moan so good. He kept pounding in him, slowing his pace sometimes only to increase it even more after, while hugging him from behind and leaving traces of wet kisses from his neck to his upper back, until the younger pleaded him to move faster, as he complied he felt the hole clenching around him and it was so hot and tight as the other was coming that he couldn't resist and came inside him with a low groan.</p><p>Once he had recovered from the high Minho went to the bathroom and came out with a wet cloth to clean Jisung's body from the sweat and cum. The sheets were a bit ruined but fortunately it was very hot and they didn't need it, so he removed them from the bed and threw them on the floor. Meanwhile Jisung was feeling the aftermath of their intense session and felt the sleep overtaking his full body, so Minho helped him putting a shirt to sleep in and laid down with him to hug him the whole night.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Should we talk?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone!<br/>Sorry for the slow update but I had to change university and then started lessons and I didn't have much time to write, but now that I have started and have a stable schedule I'll try uploading more frequently (and maybe longer chapters too)</p><p>Btw I opened a twitter stan account ( @_eunlight ) a few days ago, I'm looking for moots and friends so if you wanna follow me I fb everyone</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Since they've reached home Han had been sleeping in his bed, tucked by the older who only said "Rest" and nothing more. Minho in the living room was resting on the couch, hiz restless mind was running wild with the pictures of the night before as he was trying to cope with what happened and understand why or how it happened.</p><p>Jisung was inside the bed but he couldn't sleep anymore, not when he knew they were the only ones in the house at that moment and, although <br/>he had felt the other so distant that day, he could still feel his hands on his body and it hurt more than the ache of his body itself the way the older haven't smiled at him, or winked like he did everyday, they haven't played around or talked about nothings, it hurt realising that the little game they played in the interview was the strongest interaction they had that day, he was scared: did what happened ruin their relationship?<br/>After all the one to make the first move was in fact Minho, but after everything was done did it even matter? Han wanted too, he did it willingly and he enjoyed it. There was no fault, nor blame, both did it together and the right thing to do would be talk about it, even though Jisung was scared of the words that could've came out of the older's mouth. If he would've asked him to forget everything and pretend nothing even happened would have he been able to do it?</p><p>After pondering for some minutes Jisung stood up, changed clothes and got out of the room. It didn't matter what he'd say they had to talk. When he reaches the living room Minho snapped and glanced at him hearing his footsteps behind him. They stared at each other for what felt like minutes but was probably a bunch of seconds, both were paralysed into looking at the other, Minho with confusion and worry in his mind but with his usual pair of confident eyes and Jisung trembling a little bit under the other's gaze. The older gulped "How are you feeling?", although the question expressed concern Han felt like he was getting crushed under him, he shifted his eyes to something else in the room and answered him "I'm fine" he took a long breath "We should talk" he pointed out but still not being able to look at him directly he only heard the other nodding.<br/>But it seemed this just wasn't his lucky day because in that moment the door of the dorm opened and six sweaty and tired, but loud as always, young guys entered.<br/>"Feeling better?" Bang Chan asked Jisung the moment he saw him standing there, while Minho walked away from there as fast as he could, hiding in his bedroom, Jisung nodded "Han-hyung I was so worried for you" jeongin whined<br/>"Yeah me too, so worried I couldn't even concentrate" Changbin reached his side and hugged him "Don't be a smartass, you messed so bad beacuse you haven't learnt the moves right yet" Felix pulled him away to scold him. "Guys let's all shower and then prepare for the vlive, we're gonna cook for our stays today!" the leader announced and, between screams and fights to go first, everyone complied.<br/>"Han, can we talk for a minute?" Chan patted the seat on the couch beside him to invite him to sit down "You know I'm your leader and I'm also your best friend right? Whatever concerns you I'm here to listen and help, your health, mental and physical, is my priority"<br/>"I know hyung, sorry for not telling you, I thought I could handle it" Jisung felt mortified to lie to him, but he first needed to talk with Minho before open up to anyone else, plus he wasn't sure he could even say the truth as it embarrassed him too much.<br/>"It's fine but from this morning I saw you weren't feeling good, your mind was somewhere else. Don't think I don't notice, I know you Han, if you need a day of rest you can ask him. I can't promise you I can give it to you right away but I can manage, don't overwork yourself, and if there's something else worrying you I'm here as a friend you can talk to. This is not a scolding, I'm really just concerned, you know I love you" he ruffled his head while Han nodded, unsure of what to say. If he could have, he'd have probably cried in that moment, feeling words of reassunce and support, what he had wished to hear from another member too.<br/>"Where's Minho by the way?" Chan asked when he stood up "Well I'll prepare everything, tell him the plan and to come help me" he headed to the kitchen.</p><p>Jisung knocked on the door one time, it already took him lots of courage to do so, so he decided it would only do it once, but to his surprise the door was opened right away by a shirtless Minho, that was about to change and thought it was probably Chan calling him. Jisung blushed, not for the view itself as he had seen him shirtless more than once in the house and changing rooms, but because it reminded him of the night before and a distinctive red mark on his fair skin he didn't remember doing made him feel embarassed but good and powerful at the same time. "Uhm Chan asked me to tell you to go help him in the kitchen" as he spoke he couldn't move his eyes from his shoulder "Yeah okay... What you looking at?" Minho followed Jisung's  eye track and spotted the red mark "Fuck!" he rushed to put a shirt on and then ran a hand through his hair exhaling heavily.<br/>"Such a scene for a little one, I should've screamed then this morning since I have like six"</p><p>Minho stared at him and Jisung realized what he just said, covering his mouth with a hand but before he could turn and run away from there, a hand caught him by the wrist, pulled him while the door was slammed closed. He found himself trapped between Minho's body and the closed door "Let me see" the older eyes had flames in them and Jisung felt ashed "Th-they're on my back" Minho hands took the hem of his t-shirt "Can I?". As much as that whole situation was out of the world, and Jisung was too embarrassed to even open his mouth, there was no way he could've stopped him. Minho lifted the fabric and let it fall on the floor while the younger turned around to show him his back. Jisung immediately felt his fingertips tracing the borders of the red marks that filled his back and chills ran down his spine making him tremble "I'm sorry".<br/>He apologised for his action but his gaze wasn't apologetic at all, he looked like he would've gladly devoured him a little more, and in fact he was thinking that those marks he made were looking so good on the younger skin, they claimed he was his and nothing made him feel prouder, but he was sorry indeed as they looked a bit painful and he would've problems hide them.</p><p>"Lee know! Come here and help me!" Chan's screm made the couple flinch and Minho withdrew his hands, picking up the clothing on the floor he gave it back to Jisung and get out of there immediately leaving him alone and confused.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Jealousy?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hi stay! Today we made a special live for you and we're going to cook for you directly from our dorm" the live had started but Jisung still had no idea what he had to do, everyone had a task such as chopping ingredients, washing pots or stirring on the stove, and he was only watching the mess his members were doing with the feeling they, in fact, have left him free on purpose knowing he wasn't feeling good. It first occurred to him that was their intention when he tried picking up a radish to chop and Hyunjin took it away from him to chop it himself and after some similar tries he was convinced of his theory when he ultimately asked if there was something to do and all together yelled "Nothing!". For the second time that day he felt both glad to have his members and both guilty for lying to them. But how could he tell the truth? It was pointless and embarrassing. <br/>"Okay Han why don't you read the comments?"Chan suggested while wisking some eggs, Jisung sat down and started reading the chat of the live, there were lots of comments full of love and support, compliments for every member and questions of all types. It was always heartwarming to read stays' comments and mostly when he was feeling so insecure. Jisung could appear as a very confident and energetic person but deep down he was fragile too and when something affected him in a negative way it left him troubled, and this all situation made him sad and therefore insecure. He was starting to feel the comments were giving him a positive energy but a specific one caught his attention and made him fall into his thoughts</p><p><em> Minchan is so in love </em> </p><p>He knew about ships, everyone knew about them and he also knew very well lots of fan loved his and Minho's interactions but that comment hurt him more than it should have, mostly because he turned his head and witness the <em>lovely</em> scene in front of him as Chan was feeding Minho while the latter was busy frying something. It was just a simple act of kindness between members and friends, they all did skinship all the time, cuddled each other and played around, it was normal and harmless but in that moment his rational side that was telling him all of this was pushed aside by a burning feeling inside of him. "Chan, you read the comments I'll go to the bathroom" he yelled clenching his fists while he disappeared from the camera and members' view. It was wrong, everything he was feeling, it was so wrong. He kept repeating to himself they were friends, he shouldn't have acted that way, he shouldn't have used that tone, it was rude and unnecessary. He locked himself in the bathroom and feeling the need to hit something washed his face to release the tension. His heart was aching "What if it's real and he actually likes Chan" thoughts like that kept running to his mind making it harder for him to calm down, when he suddenly heard a knock "Oi Han you okay?" Felix's concerned voice woke him up from his worries and he opened the door after a deep breath "Yeah I'm fine ". Maybe it was his face, his tone or the little tremble he had that didn't convince Felix a bit "You sure? Does it still hurt?"</p><p>"Huh? W-what..Ho-how do you it hurts?" Jisung panicked for a moment before remembering his terrible lie "Oh the head...yeah just a little bit" he bit his lip, he was a terrible liar and was surprised he had even made it this far without someone doubting him, he smiled at Felix before he could say something else and headed back to the kitchen. When he arrived and saw Chan talking to the camera while Minho was still cooking he felt relieved, it made no sense and it was wrong but he couldn't help feeling that way. He went beside Minho "Can I taste it? I'm hungry, please" he pouted at the older as he would've done before everything happened the night before, the older was taken aback and Jisung could swear he had seen him blush but he still fed him a bite which Jisung reviewed with a big smile.  For the next minutes he stayed beside Minho, while everyone joked around, helped laying the table and talked with fans through the camera he didn't leave his side once, for some reason he wanted to stay there, he was feeling safe from everyone's questions and he wasn't in the mood to play. Minho was busy cooking, since he was basically the only one left doing it, so he didn't give much attention to him but he didn't even show uneasiness. When they sat down to eat he was still silent and not his usual fun self, and fan started noticing. The chat was getting full of concerned comments like:</p><p>
  <em>-Is Han okay?<br/>- Jisung doesn't look good<br/>-Quokka looks sad<br/>- Is Jisung sick? </em>
</p><p>And as comments like these increased Changbin that was busy reading them suggested answering some random questions to shift the attention but when the live ended there was no escape. Twitter was already filled with worries about him, he didn't say a single word throughout the live and he looked a bit lost in his thoughts: nothing could escape fans' attentive eyes. "You could've smiled at least once" Changbin sighed exhausted "Let him be, he said he wasn't feeling good" Hyunjin answered back scolding him </p><p>"How are you now hyung?" Jeongin asked with his sweet voice, but Jisung hated all that. He didn't like making others worry so he just avoided everyone eyes and stood up quickly "I'm fine don't worry", but maybe he stood up just too quickly and lost balance resulting in Minho, who was still sat next to him, catching him by his hips. The moment his hands came in contact with his body, and such a delicate part, Jisung couldn't help but shivering, he wished he didn't miss those hands on him from the moment they've left him, but he did missed them, he missed them every single time they weren't touching him. "Okay guys it's late go to bed, tomorrow we wake up at 8 am, we have two interviews and a variety, but no practice... except for Jisung and Changbin who didn't do good today"  Chan told everyone before going straight to his room<br/>"Goodnight guys, Han rest" Seungmin stated before going the same way as the leader while slowly every other member followed him, all telling Jisung to sleep and don't stay up late. Everyone was gone and once again he was left alone with him, at this point he wasn't even sure if he should be happy, afraid or worried. "It wasn't your head right?" Minho suddenly spoke up "What? Oh. No it wasn't, I-I just didn't know what to say" the older nodded as he was deeply thinking something "I'm sorry". It was the second time he had apologized that day, but Jisung was done playing and beating around the bush "For what?" he finally asked, he was trembling a little, afraid of what the answer would be, while Minho was rubbing a hand behind his neck "Well for.. Uhm hurting you. Sorry I-I was too... Too rough" he coughed to let the embarrassment slip away, his eyes wandering around the room. <br/>Though this was not the answer Jisung had imagined, it caught him by surprise and in a positive way; he raised his eyes to meet the other's, Han couldn't believe his ears: he wasn't sorry for what happened, he wasn't sorry it was him, he was sorry because he hurt him.</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Awakening</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>In this chapter I wanted to show a little bit of Minho's inner thoughts and point of view to understand his behavior and character better so I hope you'll like it &lt;3</p><p>Btw I'm not sure about the division of rooms in the dorm so I just came up with one of my own and made Minho have a single room, while Jisung is with Jeongin.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morning came and slowly the kitchen started getting crowded, when Hyunjin was finally having breakfast too after Seungmin had tried countless of times to wake him up Chan realized someone wasn't there yet and it was weird "Where's Lino? He's usually one of the first to wake up".<br/>
"Maybe he went for a morning run or to the bar, I'll call him" Jeongin, that was used to his presence every morning when the only awaken were them and Seungmin, was sure there was no way he was still sleeping "Okay but can someone wake up Hannie, that sleepyhead is gonna be late again" before he finished his sentence he saw the others looking at each other weirdely "He wasn't in his bed when I woke up" Jeongin revealed shyly, as he said something that he knew was gonna make everyone worry. "What do you mean he was not in his bed? Where the hell is he?".</p><p>"Maybe he went with Minho to the bar, he was probably craving an ice americano " Changbin said right before they hear a phone ringing in one of the rooms and they knew exactly which was it from, everyone looked at Jeongin hanging up the call to Minho "I guess he's still sleeping then". The days before had been stressful for Chan who had to deal with all the problems about the comeback, Han's sickness, begging the managers to let them do the live from home and the dance that had still many mistakes , he was tired and stressed and so he snapped, he walked fast towards Minho's room and, without even knocking on the closed door, barged into it. What he didn't expect was to find that scene in front of him. Minho was indeed still sleeping in his bed, but he wasn't the only one, held tightly in his arms there was a certain squirrel-like person snoring peacefully.<br/>
When Changbin saw him stop midway when he opened the door he peaked out of curiosity inside the room too and chuckled at the image "Well I guess we found them both" he patted Chan on the back and reached for the sleeping members "Yah wake up it's late" he yelled shaking his hyung  a bit.  The older opened his eyes and yawned but when he tried to stretch he found something, or better someone, curled up in his arms.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"What are you doing here?" he had gotten up to drink a cup of water but instead found Jisung on the couch drinking what he guessed was tea and got hit by the sudden question.</em>
  <em>"I should ask you that! Everyone told you to sleep early and rest, repeatedly, but it's 1am and you're still here?" he didn't want to scold him, not in that moment, but he was worried and his words came out harsher that they should have.</em>
  <em>"It's fine, I'm gonna sleep soon, I'm not sleepy before 2am anyhow" the younger was used to sleep late, everyone knew that, but there was something in his expression and tone and the way he was just sitting there, not watching a movie, not playing any games, that told him this time it was different. He couldn't sleep and it wouldn't matter what hour it was he would've probably stayed awake until he was too exhausted. But they had a busy schedule, a comeback to finalize, it wasn't the time to let him be insomniac. He reached for the boy and held his hand  making him stand up "Hyung what-" </em>
</p><p>

  <em>"You're sleeping with me tonight so I can keep an eye on you" he said before pushing him gently into his own bed and helped him get under the covers "don't even think of running away cause I'll hold you just like this all night." he hugged him tightly, the younger face on his chest and his head resting on his arm "Now sleep". </em>
</p><p>That was how they ended up like that but that didn't explain why his room was being invaded by his members, he looked at the clock on his bedside table and realized it was late, very late. He probably didn't hear the alarm or maybe it didn't ring at all. He saw Chan and Changbin standing at the end of his bed and other two or three people at his door, he gently removed his arm from beneath the boy's head and sat up. His mind was slowly waking up and as he run a hand through his hair he thought he had to give an explanation "He wasn't feeling good last night so I kept an eye on him" he said nonchalantly. It wasn't a big deal after all, between the members it was common to sleep together, even hugged, they were like brothers and some of them really loved skinship. He looked at the boy sleeping on his pillow and lost himself into thoughts for a moment.<br/>
<em> It was normal. They were like brothers. </em><br/>
But brothers don't do what they had done the night at the hotel. </p><p>"Hannie wake up" he shook the younger gently, whispering softly. He wouldn't have woken up any other person like this, he would've yelled into their ears and threw water at them. Why was it different for him? People had told him about how different he treated the members, it was obvious he had a soft spot for Jisung, but everyone just took it as a sympathy. Was it though?<br/>
He never denied having a soft spot for him, he looked so fragile and innocent at times he didn't want nothing more than protect him, he was funny and always managed to make him smile and he felt comfortable around him, as he never felt with anyone. He wanted to make him happy, to care for him; but he also wanted all his attention, he wanted to be the only one he touched, the only one to hug him, he wanted to spend more and more time alone with him, to know every little detail of his being. And were exactly these desires that led him that night. He wasn't soft and caring with him as a brother, he wasn't kind and patient as a friend, he was passionate and possessive. As a <em>lover. </em><br/>
He knew that but he would have denied it if anyone had asked him, they were band mates, friends and brothers, not lovers. There was no place for love in their lives, not at that moment at least. He couldn't allow himself to care for him more than a member, long for him more than a friend or  need him more than a brother. That night was a mistake, a beautiful and unforgettable one, and he would've treasured it forever, but he let himself lose control, let his instincts lead, his impulses prevail and his yearnings being fulfilled. It was a one time thing and he hoped Jisung could understand.</p><p>He was usually good with self-control, what happened that night wasn't in is plans, he had no idea if it was the alcohol that gave him courage, although more than courage he was just jealous. Jealously was the strongest weapon against his self-control, he knew he shouldn't feel jealous but every time someone touched the younger more than it was necessary he felt his blood burning in his veins, and his fist ready to punch someone. He shouldn't felt that way. It was wrong. He felt ashamed every time he found himself wishing to pull the other into his arms and screamed at everyone that he was his and they couldn't touch him. Also the members all loved Jisung and liked to cuddle with him the same way it was with any other, there was no reason to be jealous, but that night when he saw some other's hands on him he couldn't think straight, he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible to not hit anyone and to show him he was the only one he needed. And he did it. He took him away and in the privacy of their room showed him. He showed him how much he had yearned for his body, how much he could make him feel loved and desired, he made it clear that there was no one else that could make him feel so good and it felt amazing. Until the morning came, and he realized how amazingly stupid and impulsive that was, how he had ruined everything and how the younger must have hate him. He realized all the previous fights he had with himself to resist were pointless and useless, a night was enough to break every little brick of the wall he built around himself to not let his emotions overflow. He panicked and exited that room as soon as he could, he couldn't face him, not yet. He had to think of an excuse, an apology, something to make things back the way they were. But when he saw him again that morning he did probably the worst thing he could've done: avoid him. </p><p>And now they were on the same bed, sleeping together as they had done before, as nothing had happened but something inside Minho wasn't sure, was is it really as nothing happened? And if it was, was it truly what he wanted?</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Play pretend</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the short chapter but I had to put Jisung's thoughts too before making the chapter a bit more eventful.<br/>As always I hope you enjoy it and thanks everyone who comments, you give me confidence to continue writing this&lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hannie wake up" Jisung started waking up, feeling a certain warmth around him and the moment he opened his eyes he wasn't sure if he was actually still dreaming. Minho was beside him, he could still feel his arms holding him and when the older stood up from the bed and disappeared from his sight he immediately felt cold and panic, as the beautiful dream was ending before he could even enjoy it. He quickly sat up only to discover they weren't the only one in the room, and that definitely wasn't a dream. "Morning Han, how are you feeling today?" Changbin was the first to talk, but instead of paying attention to him and the other members in the room he focused on Minho. He saw him from his back picking clothes from the closet and then get out of the room, probably going to the bathroom.<br/>Once he was gone Jisung decided giving his friend an answer, although when he was about to open his mouth he realized he had no idea what to answer. How was he feeling that morning? <br/>In pain? Not that much anymore.<br/>Happy? Not exactly.<br/>Confused? Defintely.</p>
<p>Changbin was looking at him with a raised eyebrow waiting for the answer that still wouldn't come, "I'm fine" he finally spoke out. Fine was the right word. He wasn't good, wasn't bad. <em>Just fine. </em><br/>He remembered how he ended up in that bed, he was on the couch in the living room, drinking some hot flower infusion to help with stress and sleep, he was tired but for some reason his brain refused to shut down, instead it kept thinking about every little thing that happened and about every scenario that could've happened next. He wanted to sleep, but his head had other plans, when suddenly Minho came out of his room, it was unusual to see him out so late, Jisung thought that maybe he was unable to sleep too. And then in a few seconds, before he could even realize, Minho had taken him to his room and tucked him under his blankets. He had slept in Minho's bed, in his arms, getting sleepy fast feeling his body's warmth and his calm breathing. <br/>And now he was still on his bed, alone again, with more than three pair pf eyes staring at him "That's great, now hurry up or we'll be late!" Chan said before leaving the room pulling everyone else with him.</p>
<p>Once everyone was out of the room Jisung stretched his arms, rubbed his eyes and grabbed his head between his hands. <br/><em>What now? </em><br/>That was the strongest question in his mind at that moment, but he didn't have any idea for an answer. <br/>I one day they didn't look at each other, avoided each other, didn't touch, didn't talk; then stayed close in the live, Jisung was clingy, Minho was kind, interested; they feel asleep listening to each other's heartbeats, hugged all night and now he disappeared again. <br/>What Jisung was sure of is that he hated the first phase, ignoring the other was just wrong and it was just impossible for him, not only because they lived and worked together but  also because they were great friends, talking about what happened didn't seem like an option either, although it might have been the most mature thing to do, they were never good with words or confessions, if one of them had a problem, something to say, the other would've guessed it just by looking at him. They had fun together, not talk about deep stuff, and this occasion, where probably none of them even knew what to say, didn't seem like the right one to start doing it. <br/>"Play pretend". Pretend nothing happened. That was the right way. They could be back to how everything was before and never bring it up again.<br/>Jisung convinced himself it was the right way, but something inside him was telling him that it wasn't what he wanted.</p>
<p>He finally washed up, got dressed and went to the kitchen to eat the breakfast the others left for him, but when he entered the kitchen he found Minho already eating at the table. It was logical since they woke up together and they were the only left two to eat, while everyone else was just doing whatever. Chan was working on his laptop on the couch next to Felix and Hyunjin that were playing videogames, while Seungmin and Changbin were basically just annoying the maknae. <br/>Jisung sat on the table after taking his cup from the cupboard "Coffee?" the older asked him with the pot in his hand and Han only nodded. The older smiled, as usual, <em> "as nothing happened "</em> Jisung kept repeating in his mind. <br/>He smiled back shyly and ate his breakfast in silence. "Guys today we have some interviews but after 6pm you're free, except for Bin and Han. You two need to practice the dance" Chan started his daily morning speech informing the members of their schedule for the day "I wanted to ask if one from dance line could stay and help them" <br/>"I'll do it don't worry hyung, it's gonna be a rehearsal for me too" Felix smiled at the two, "I'll come too! I got nothing to do" Minho agreed too. It wasn't a surprise, he always helped everyone with the dance routines and it was actually fun how he was still trying to look uncaring saying he got nothing else to do, when everyone perfectly knew he was more than willing to help.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Jisung entered the dance room he discovered to his surprise he was the last one as Felix, Changbin and Minho were all already stretching out on the wooden floor. It was weird being there only the four of them, not weird as if they had never done that but because after what happened being in a closed space with Minho and only a few other people around was weird. Also he knew very well the other two were probably going to get all clingy to each other, and if usually he'd do the same with the oldest, it wouldn't happen this time. After all they weren't avoiding each other as the day before, but they weren't exactly back to being all fun and clingy as before, things still had to get back to normal. And that's why Jisung thought the best solution was trying to be with Felix most of the time to keep him close and not ending up alone forced to be with Minho only, "Lix, so uhm could you show me the bridge part? I still have problems there" he tried to sound as nonchalant as he could, he wasn't doing this just to be away from Minho, he seriously needed to get better in the routine and focus on that wasn't easy when helping him was someone he was still picturing naked above him. "Yes of course! Let's start from here.." Felix immediately reacted to help him out and for the first hour everything was going smoothly, as him and Lix were rehearsing and he could only hear Minho scolding Binnie for being a disaster. But that's when Jisung's plan totally failed "Felix! You teach him, I'm tired of him and you have more patience than me" his first words got Jisung panicked but the last ones are what made him want to run away from there "I'll help Hannie" </p><p><em>It's fine, you're just practicing the dance</em> Jisung kept reminding himself, he thought it first when Felix reached Binnie on the opposite side of the room and Minho got closer, he then repeated it when Minho's eyes were following every movement of his body and directing him, and he tried to keep that same thought in his head when Minho said "I'll show you" and he danced, for a few seconds, just to show him the steps and even if it wasn't a sexy dance it was powerful and it got Jisung mouth dry. But the moment he lost that thought was when some very familiar hands covered his arms from behind "You have to extend the arms more" he said very close to his ear, " Then you need to flex your knee more"  his hand reached his leg and, after positioning his knee, held his right thigh strongly "Apply more force on your thigh to sustain you body" he kept giving him instructions but it was hard to concentrate on them when he had his hand wrapping his whole thigh and it looked so erotic. It even reminded him of how he held it that night when Minho was between his legs, but he chased away the image the moment it came to his mind. "And your head" his hand finally moved from his thigh and, while Jisung let out a sigh, found its spot just under his chin, slightly touching his neck "Remember to always look straight" and Jisung looked, straight into the mirror in front of them, Minho was behind him holding a hand to his neck, his head on the side close to his ear and he was starting to get short of breath just by watching how perfectly they fitted each other, like their bodies were two pieces of puzzle that found their perfect match. He didn't know if the elder knew the effect he had on him in that moment, but if he knew Jisung thought he must have been a sadist, there was no one he could've prevented himself from getting turned on in that situation when only two days before they had sex for the fist time.</p><p>Jisung was hard, sweating, and if the elder stayed a second more like that he'd been even panting, but luckily he moved and returned to his position of watching him and not touching. But Jisung was already feeling how he knew he shouldn't and staying there seemed like hell to him right then "I-I need to g-go to the bathroom " he announced not looking at the anyone while literally running away. When he was outside and far enough he crashed to the nearest wall and fell to the ground trying to catch his breath, he banged the back of his head to the wall "Stop thinking about it" he yelled to himself, thinking no one would hear him. Eventually someone was close enough to hear a voice and open his door to check out. "Han! What are you doing here?" <em>of course it would be Chan</em>, Jisung thought, "How are you always here? Just go rest!" he said with a bit of a harsh tone that definitely didn't go unnoticed by the older "Sorry?" he raised an eyebrow and Jisung apologized immediately, he was having a bit of a hard time and being Chan the one finding him right then didn't put him in a good mood either "It's fine, but why are you here crawled to the wall? Shouldn't you be dancing?" he questioned  "I'm just resting before heading back" Chan nodded, not believing a word Jisung said as there was no reason the younger would be resting in an empty cold hallway instead of the dance room "When you had enough rest go back, we can all go home together in another hour" he said and went back to his production room leaving Jisung alone, still on the floor. </p><p>Jisung thought that at least he had to thank his leader and the weird encounter for getting rid of his hard on and when he got back into the room again he found Felix and Changbin joking around, as he'd imagined and Minho alone on the couch playing with his phone, he realized that the whole situation was getting in the way of the rehearsal too and if Jisung didn't want something was to be unprofessional so he inhaled deeply, kick all his erotic thoughts and memories into a very hidden corner of his brain and for at least the next hour focus solely on dance. Surprisingly it worked and he was able not get distracted, while exhausting himself until Chan came into the room and asked everyone to go eat bbq together and there was no way Jisung, or any of the others, would've refused such a tempting offer.</p><p>The dinner was fine, they chatted and played around, and somehow things between Jisung and Minho seemed to be going great as before, they mocked Changbin, who got defended by a chuckling Felix, who everyone knew had a soft spot for the elder, then they learnt some Australian slang from Felix and Chan and ate tons of pork and beef. At one point Minho even cut pieces of meat and put them into Jisung's plate just as he used to do, and although he blushed a bit Jisung was happy he was behaving like before and all the awkwardness seemed gone. When they got home the others were offended they went out without them "You had meat while I ate instant ramen Seungmin made! That's unfair!" Hyunjin whined dramatically, "Thank me for making it or you would've eaten chips for dinner since you can't even boil water" the other argued, but after Chan promised the remaining three he'll take them out for dinner another time too the debating stopped and everyone went to bed, or almost everyone. In fact, as usual Felix, Changbin, Chan and Jisung were the only left alone in the common room since they always slept late, but this time Chan was actually the first to announce his bed time "I'm going guys, you should too, tomorrow we have practice all day. Goodnight...and Jisung" he called him "If you don't want to tell me it's fine but talk to someone about your problems, please" he left leaving a speechless Jisung and two other very confused people behind. "What problems?" Felix was the fist one to speak, still not leaving Changbin's lap where he was so comfortably cuddling before "You okay Sungie? It's been some days that you seem off" the dark haired guy asked concerned too "I think it's fine now" Jisung smiled, sincerely. "I thought something got ruined and it'll be impossible to fix it, but apparently everything is back to normal again so don't worry" he said believing in his own words, although inside he kept feeling something was wrong. It was truly fine? To be back how everything was before like nothing happened? He stood up leaving his friends to cuddle on the couch alone, wishing he could just go into the older's room, get into his bed and sleep like last night again, cause he was pretty sure he wasn't going to get any sleep that night with all those thought and doubts running through his head. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi lovely readers, hope you loved the chapter as always, we got a bit of the others members in this chapter too. I want to add more fun scenes with everyone but somehow I always end up writing angst thoughts, sorry :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The days after their comeback their schedule was packed and they barely had time to breathe as they had to record interviews, variety shows and stage performances. Minho and Jisung relationship looked normal from outside, but Jisung knew it was nothing like before. They weren't having those dinner alone in restaurants Minho wanted to try, they weren't asking for each other company on the night trips to the convenience store and they weren't cuddling watching movies alone anymore. Although there were smiles and jokes between the two it was just a mask they wore for their members, fans, and maybe themselves. They had silently agreed on pretending nothing changed when actually everything changed. </p><p>"Where's Chan and Minho?" Hyunjin asked joining the others busy watching the lion king in the living room, "They went out for dinner, in Itaewon I think" Jeongin answered the older, who sat down with them. "That's weird, Jisung why didn't you go with him?" Changbin looked at his direction chuckling and Jisung wished to have a different answer than "He didn't ask me". </p><p>That was the last thread holding it all together, that was <em>their</em> thing and now it suddenly wasn't anymore, Jisung felt he was replaced, he hated these feelings telling him the older got tired of him, that he was so easily replaceable, he felt used and thrown away, so call it anger, call it jealously, but he had enough. The moment the door clicked and was flung open the dorm was filled with laughter from the oldest members entering and Jisung jumped up from the couch surprising everyone "We need to talk" he spoke directly at Minho walking in front of him "Alone!" he took his hand and pulled him into Minho's room at the end of the hallway in front of everyone confused eyes.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Minho asked the moment the door closed behind them, "You know what's wrong, we have to talk" Jisung was getting angrier by the second and he wasn't even sure why "I already apologized, there's nothing to talk about" </p><p>"And now what? You regret it and don't wanna be close to me anymore? You kick me out of your life just like that? Is it so easy-" </p><p>"No, it's not easy! Do you think I want this? I enjoy this? I'm sorry"</p><p>"I don't want your apology, I want an explanation. Do you hate me now or what?"</p><p>"I don't hate you, I could never. I don't wanna be alone with you because I'm afraid of what I could do" Minho shouted out the last sentence without even realizing and Jisung was petrified. The elder cough and trying to calm down before saying something he could regret "I'm sorry I got carried away, I drank too much that night and it shouldn't have hap-" but he was interrupted by Jisung screaming "You drank too much? It's that the reason? That's your excuse? Did you even stopped thinking about me for a second? How did I feel?" he was yelling so loud the others came running slamming the door open "What's going on here, why are you two fighting and screaming like that?" Chan asked raising his voice but the two were just staring at each other, Jisung had flames in his eyes and Minho was just mortified, afraid to have ruined everything even more. After a few second Jisung stormed out of the room walking angrily towards the fridge while everyone followed him confused and concerned, he took one can of beer and chug it down "What are you doing?" Changbin grabbed the can from his hands and threw it on the counter. </p><p>"I wanna get drunk too so I can do whatever I want and hurt people and say it was the alchol's fault!" Jisung finally screamed on top of his lungs staring directly at Minho.</p><p>"I didn't mean to..." the older tried to explain but he didn't let him finish, he knew he was gonna regret the scene he was making but at the time he was too furious and hurt to care "You didn't mean what? You said it, it was the alchol's fault so what does it matter anyways?" he took another full beer from the fridge and disappeared into his room leaving everyone behind, who turned all together towards Minho to find some clues but the older just punch the wall beside him and ran to his room too.</p><p>" Uhm someone knows anything?" Changbin was the first one to speak<br/>"I only know that Jisung was scary, I've never seen it that angry, not even when we used to fight" Hyunjin replied with wide eyes, still processing what happened. <br/>"I saw that they were tense for the past week, but I have no idea why" Seungmin answered too<br/>"But being tense and screaming at each other is pretty different" Chan was the most confused, he had dinner with Minho and the other seemed normal, he didn't look worried or angry, also on the days before between the two something out pf the ordinary happened so he couldn't understand the situation at all. <br/>"Jisung was talking about how it was the alchol's fault, maybe Minho said something when he drunk that hurt him" Jeongin tried to find an explanation to the fight they just witnessed, trying hard to remember what Jisung said <br/>"I can't believe Minho would ever say something hurtful to Jisung, not even drunk. He cares about him too much that's just impossible" Changbin replied.</p><p>"Well something happened, Jisung was mad and Minho wasn't calm either. I'll try talking with Minho, someone go to Han, let's see if we can find something out or help them make up" Chan suggested and went straight to Minho's room.</p><p>Two knocks were heard before a blonde head appeared from the behind the door, "Can I come in?" Felix said in the sweetest tone, Jisung only nodded from his bed. At first Changbin wanted to go but Felix insisted to let him go talk to him as he was able to maintain the calm and soothe better than anyone. "Are you okay?" he asked as he didn't want to immediately ask for reasons, he wanted to make sure how he was feeling before and also not push him to talk if he didn't want to. Jisung frowned "Not really, I'm... I'm a bit... just deceived I guess" he wasn't looking at him in his eyes "You're not angry? You looked angry" Felix asked again, sitting down beside him. <br/>"I'm actually kind of sad and yes, a bit angry maybe, but more at myself" he was speaking sincerely and Felix knew that, "Can you tell me what happened?" he tried asking, still using a calm and sweet tone and slowly caressing his back. The other shook his head and bit his bottom lip, he looked like he was about to cry and Felix hugged him "It's okay, you don't have to tell me, but just remember that we all love you okay? Minho hyung too, whatever happened can be solved I'm sure. Sleep it off and tomorrow morning you can talk it again more calmly and it'll be fine" he patted his head and broke the hug "I'll leave you alone now, if you need us we're outside, try sleeping if you can" he stood up, switched the light off and closed the door.</p><p>In the meantime, Chan knocked on Minho's door until the younger answered and gave him permission to enter "Can you tell me what happened?" he immediately asked "I think I fucked up" Minho simply answered bit the older wasn't satisfied amd insisted "And with more details what would that mean?" but the other didn't respond so he just gave up <br/>"Okay, don't tell me, but solve it. I don't wanna see you fight, whatever it is your big enough to fix it, I'm sure he'll forgive you if you just apologise"</p><p>That was the problem as he actually got angry because he apologized. He thought that a little bit of distance between them would've been good, and even if he knew he'd be missing him like crazy he was convinced that was what they both needed. But what he didn't know is that Jisung had a  totally different plan.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi everyone, and Merry Christmas!</p><p>Hope you're all doing well, I'm sorry for my long pause but I had a block and uni wasn't helping. With the holidays I'm sure it'll be easier to continue writing this story so stay tuned ;)</p><p>Plus I wanted to thank everyone who comments and a friend of mine (you know who you are), you give me the confidence I need that I sometimes lack of so thank you so much &lt;3</p><p> </p><p>(I re-read the story and I found so many mistakes so I might go back and fix them cause they drive me crazy)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The group was in the waiting room, for the 8th performance of that week, they were basically going on and off stage on repeat, but they wouldn't want it any other way, that was their passion and their job and being on stage gave them all the power and energy they needed for life. And apparently it gave Jisung courage too, after their fight he had a whole night to think thoroughly about everything and came up with a sort of plan. Never in their years of friendship have they yelled at each other like that, Jisung argued with Hyunjin, Changbin and even Chan screaming and slamming doors, but not with Minho, they were comfortable with each other, understanding, anything could have happened and they would never fight like that, so what changed? Jisung wasn't sure of the reason why the elder was avoiding him so much, but something he said finally gave him a clue. </p><p>
  <em>I'm afraid of what I could do</em>
</p><p>That's how Jisung finally realized. He didn't hate him, he didn't despise, he was scared. And apparently he was scared it could happen again. Now this was were Jisung was more confused, was he scared because he hate it? Or because of something else?  </p><p>The second option seemed more right, as if he hated it then why would he be scared it could happen again in the first place, it made no sense. It looked more as he was holding himself back and if that was really the case then Jisung made it his goal to make him lose control.</p><p>And that's why now while everyone was chatting and eating, waiting for their next stage, Jisung decided to take place on Minho's lap. There was a whole empty couch beside him but his thighs looked more comfortable than any other place. Minho was as much surprised as everyone else was, if not more, while Jisung kept talking to Binnie as he adjusted himself on his lap. </p><p>"Innie come here..." Chan called the younger aside, together with Hyunjin "Do you know something about Han? Yesterday he and Minho were yelling at each other and look at them now" the eldest pointed to the two sitting together chatting and smiling with Changbin "How am I supposed to know?"</p><p>"You're his roommate, did you notice something?" Hyunjin stepped in, "When I went to bed he was busy on his laptop and he was normal this morning, he even woke me up smiling"</p><p>"He's weird" Seungmin barged in after listening to their conversation while getting ready, "Minnie, be nice!"</p><p>"I am. It's true, he's weird! I thought Minho was the weirdest one here but he's worse. one day he's joyful and happy and the next one he's gloomy and moody, and tired and angry and-"</p><p>"And stop." Chan interrupts him "He's our friend and since we came back it's obvious something's wrong, instead of judging and complaining we should try to help him"</p><p>"He doesn't want our help Hyung" Hyunjin argues</p><p>"Then we stay close and make him feel we're there for him, he'll eventually open up or resolve it himself"</p><p>That day luckily everything went smoothly and Minho and Han seemed closer, the other members ended up thinking they might have talked on the phone the night before and resolved their issues, so when one afternoon came where they all finished their schedule and Minho bursted into the living room declaring "Han we're going out, I'm waiting you outside" no one cared about it. <br/>"Where are we going?" Jisung asked once out of the door but instead of answering Minho simply took his wrist and started going up on the building stairs. "The rooftop?" Jisung was surprised seeing where Minho had taken him, he had no idea if the elder wanted to talk peacefully or to fight him, they've been there probably only on the first day they moved into the dorm, he almost forgot they had an accesible rooftop with a rather nice view of the city skyline. "I know you don't want me to apologise but just listen to me first please" Minho said first "I'm sorry for the other night, it wasn't my intention to hurt you and I might have used the wrong words. You're right and I can't give all thw fault to the alcohol, no matter how much I had drunk I was still conscious of my actions" <br/>"Glad you recognize it" Han said sarcastically but immediately regretted it looking at Minho's annoyed expression "I said to let me speak first and then you can answer, or I won't be able to do this" and Han lowered his head apologetically. <br/>"I knew what I was doing and I remember it all very clearly and I-I just can't" he took a step closer to the younger staring into his eyes intensely "I can't forget it. No matter how much I try the memory of that night keeps filling my mind whenever I stop doing whatever" at this words, and under his piercing eyes, Jisung gulped unable to speak or move.</p><p>Minho brushed his fingers on his arm slowly reaching his hand to squeeze it gently "I keep thinking of how your skin felt at my touch" now the fingers were brushing his bottom lip and Jisung closed his eyes instinctively "I think about our kisses and how perfect you looked under me" Minho's hand moved to his neck caressing it while his tone got lower and lower until he was basically whispering "And I'll never forget how your voice sounded, moaning so shamelessly just for me".</p><p>Jisung opened his eyes and both men were staring at each other, breathing heavily, the memories of their passion passing through their minds. There's shyness, uncertainty and some nervousness in the air surrounding them, but as Han was ready to throw it all away to listen to his instinct only, and leaning to kiss him again Minho pushed him away "but we can't".</p><p>3 words and Jisung was already on the verge of tears, he knew what that meant but he wasn't sure he was ready to accept it in that moment, he had the illusion things could change amd he could be happy and Minho had destroyed it all with 3 words. <br/>"You know we can't, it's wrong. Whatever happened can't happen again and I swear I'm putting all my strength to be away from you, to not touch you as I'd want to, to not hold you but-"</p><p>"I get it" Jisung interrupted him "It's fine, I get it" he lowered his head and walked away from there before the tears could start falling. <br/>And it wasn't fine, not at all. He felt stupid for thinking again they had a chance, maybe if they weren't idols, maybe if the group approved or maybe if Minho had the courage to try it even if it meant doing it in secret. Even though Jisung knew exactly what the biggest problem was: they were friends and anything more than that could end bad and ruin it all, and while other exes could just forget about each other they were stuck in the same group forever. But as he was aware of this at the same time he still wanted to try and his original plan of making him lose control still looked the most appealing.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Going home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If anyone had asked Han would've said that night was productive, but not the usual way. He didn't write a song, didn't prepare any lyrics, didn't watched any drama or movie... he simply overthought. Thought about how to make Minho drop his mask, cause he was sure he was wearing one, one that kept him at a certain distance from him and his feelings for the younger. As Jisung already knew talking wasn't useful, not when the older wasn't being brave and him sincere. All night Jisung considered what was the best option, to push him or to go with the flow, he thought about that night at the hotel, where Minho's walls had crumbled, and how they arrived there and there's when it hit him: <em>jealously.</em></p>
<p>Jealously was what made him lose control and it was now therefore Han's aim to make him jealous. He decided it was his last try, if the older would catch up or still be convinced with his idea he wouldn't insist, after all he just wanted to give him a little push, not disrespect his decision. But he decided he would take his time, Minho wasn't going anywhere and he could wait, it just felt wrong to already give up, Jisung was never the type to let go and give up because someone said he couldn't do it.</p>
<p>"Good morning" Felix said with enthusiasm while mixing a black mixture in a glass bowl "It's our weekend off, you're not going home? I'm baking brownies for all of you to take on the trip back home" he gave him a big smile and focused back on the mixture. Han completely forgot about the weekend, he didn't tell anything to his parents, but he thought that going home would be good, he missed his family. "Who's staying?" <br/>"Me and Chan, as always. Minho already left soon this morning, said he missed his cats too much" he informed him before he could even ask, Han wasn't surprised, Minho loved those furballs and whenever he could he'd ran to them, he decided he'd text him later to ask for some photos as he always did.</p>
<p>"By the way, how are you and Minho? It looked like you made up, we were all really worried you know? We never saw the two of you so angry at each other" Lix asked curious "You know, if you ever wanna talk about what happened between you two I'm here, I won't judge you"</p>
<p>"Thanks but there's nothing really, it was a simple misunderstanding. I'm sorry for making a scene"</p>
<p>"It's fine, but you sure? Nothing happened when you two disappeared the night we were all drinking together and the morning after you were totally looking freshly fuck-mmpfh" Han ran to cover his mouth before he could finish the sentence "H-how did you... " <br/>"You forgot I came to your room that morning and helped you? I saw things and it wasn't hard to connect the dots"  Felix explained calmly, still baking. Han instead was already sweating, looking around the room afraid someone could hear them "Binnie's under the shower, it'll take a while, hyunjin and jeongin are still sleeping and Chan's working in his room, headphones on" Lix announced just like he could read Jisung's mind, he put the whisk down and looked at the older with a smirk "So... How was it?"</p>
<p>Han became immediately shy although he was glad Felix knew, he wanted to talk about it to someone so bad but was feeling too embarrassed to tell anyone the truth "It was good but I'm still not sure what it meant" <br/>"What do you mean?" <br/>"It's difficult" <br/>"How so? You love each other right? Then it's easy! If you're afraid of our reaction I guarantee you that we'll all be happy for you" <br/>"Thanks Lix, I love you" <br/>And with that Han left Felix finish his brownies while he went to his room to pack before going home.</p>
<p>Jisung called his parents and was now waiting for his father to pick him up, he insisted on taking the train but his parents missed him so much his father was already out of the door to get the car and his mother had started cooking his favorite meal. Felix had gave him box of freshly made brownies to eat with his family too and headed out with Chan to have a walk on Han's River not before whispering to his ear so Chan couldn't hear "When you come back I wanna know all the details" and winked at him. </p>
<p>On the car ride home his father showered him with questions about his life and praises for the album and his talent, there was no bigger fan of Han than his own parents. Han answered everything, happy that his father was so invested in his things, but a constant though filled his mind so he decided to text Minho<br/><strong>-Did you arrive home? <br/>-How big is Dori now? </strong></p>
<p>The moment he arrived home he put his phone in his pocket and ran into his mother's arms, he had never missed her so much. The comeback, the night with Minho and everyhting that followed made him tired and more emotional, and there was nothing better than his mother's hug to feel finally at ease. On the other hand she was so happy to see him again that she immediately squeezed his cheeks "Is it hard son? Do you eat enough? How's your sleep? You look so much thinner, let the feed you!" she had the usual worried look on her face and Jisung couldn't help but notice a few more wrinkles on her face since he last saw her "C'mon go wash your hands and come eat, I made your favorite dish" she rushed him to get out of his shoes and coat patting on his back.</p>
<p>The lunch was delicious, after months of living of ramen and sweet potatoes it seemed like a dream to eat a full home-made meal. After lunch he went to visit his grandparents and uncles, apparently his mother had called the whole family that morning and now he had to go visit them all, although he much preferred to lay on his bed and ask for some tea and biscuits to rest, in a house where there weren't other 7 people going in and out and screaming all the time. By the time he got home it was already dinner time and after dinner he had totally forgot to check his phone before falling asleep exhausted. The next morning when he looked at it hundreds of notifications occupied the screen; beside the group chat, twitter and instagram a single name caught his attention: Minho.</p>
<p>
  <strong>-I'm home, sorry for not saying goodbye this morning<br/>-Why do you only care about Dori? <br/>-Sonnie and Doongie are gonna sulk to you.. </strong>
</p>
<p>Han smiled reading the messages, he remembered the first time he went to Minho's house and they had to look for the cats who were hiding for more than 5 minutes and then earning their trust wasn't so easy either but it was worth it when they all finally came to cuddle next to them on the couch.</p>
<p>
  <strong> -Did you go home too?<br/>- You disappeared so I asked Chan and he said you did <br/>- Hope your having a good day<br/>-Just text me when you can<br/>- You never stay away from your phone this long I'm getting worried<br/>-You didn't even told Chan or anyone if you arrived, he's worried too<br/>-Manager called your parents, at least we know you're okay </strong>
</p>
<p>"Fuck!" he shouted getting out of bed and immediately checked to see the twelve missed calls he had from his members and manager, he had totally forgot to tell the other he arrived and somehow put the phone on silent, he was so getting scolded and he deserved it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Take me out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After getting scolded by a sleepy Chan Han's phone rang again and thinking it was the leader again he picked up without seeing the caller and a deep voice scared him "Han Jisung!" </p>
<p>Minho...</p>
<p>"Are you playing with me? You read my message and ignored me. I was worried! You little..." he hissed </p>
<p>"Sorry Hyung, I'm sorry. I got home and between my parents and everything I forgot my phone completely. Then I read your messages first and rushed to call Chan" Jisung yelled apologetically</p>
<p>"Why Chan and not me though? I said  <em>I </em> was worried"</p>
<p>"I said I'm sorry, forgive me please" </p>
<p>"I'll forgive you if you take me out"</p>
<p>"Yea-What? T-take you out?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, to dinner. You pay."</p>
<p>"Ooh okay I almost thought it was like a date" Han chuckled, hiding his disillusionment</p>
<p>"Do you want it to be a date?"  Minho asked with a provocative tone but Han remained silent.  <br/>"It can be anything you want. When we're back, tonight, take me out" with his last words he hang up to a speechless Han who was just trying to get his heartbeat to calm down and was more confused than he ever was before. <br/>After a few seconds a text appeared on his screen</p>
<p>
  <strong> -And answer my messages please<br/>-If not I won't send you a picture of Dori ;) </strong>
</p>
<p>Han smiled at the older, he was the most confusing man he had ever met, but boy... he liked him like crazy.</p>
<p>
  <strong> -I care about all of your cats, I just happen to prefer Dori <br/>- I'm sorry I made you worried :( </strong>
</p>
<p>He responded and closed the chat to answer other people too but his phone buzzed again, it seems like the older really wanted to chat.</p>
<p>
  <strong> -It's okay, you're gonna make it up for me eheheh</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-Btw what do you wanna eat? </strong>
</p>
<p>When he asked him he immediately thought of beef or sushi, definitely something expensive, but instead Minho's reply shocked him</p>
<p>
  <strong> -You </strong>
</p>
<p>Han rubbed his eyes thinking he was having illusions and re-read the chat as if it was an answer to something else when another text arrived</p>
<p>
  <strong> -?*<br/>-I meant you? <br/>-like "What about you?" <br/>-I'm okay with anything</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-That was weird</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-Yeah it was <br/>-sorry</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-Make it up for me...</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-You're funny Han Jisung but that's not how it works <br/>-Since you wanna play I'll let you decide where we'll go<br/>-But just so u know if it doesn't satisfy me you're getting punished </strong>
</p>
<p>That was defintely too much for Han, he couldn't stop his mind from believing the other was flirting with him, so he needed someone else's opinion. He took a few screenshot of their chat and send them immediately to Felix, the only one who knew the truth and could actually help him. <br/>The response was fast, he knew Lix was probably bored in the dorm since he was alone there</p>
<p>
  <strong> -kinky aren't we? </strong>
</p>
<p>Han ignored the comment and texted him back a little panicked<br/><strong>-Be honest<br/>-Do you think he's flirting?</strong></p>
<p>
  <strong>-Pretty obvious he is if you ask me<br/>-Wow didn't know that hyung was like this</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-How should I aswer?</strong>
</p>
<p>
  <strong>-Flirt back! </strong>
</p>
<p>Jisung went back to the chat with Minho and write the last message before throwing the phone away too ashamed to read any answer</p>
<p>
  <strong> -Did I ever not satisfy you?<br/>- and what punishment will you give me?<br/>-I might be interested </strong>
</p>
<p>A few minute passed, lunch was already cooking on the stove since he had apparently skipped breakfast waking up too late. He had to go back to the dorm that same afternoon and still needed to think where to take Minho, he saw his mum busy in the kitchen and his dad reading a newspaper on the couch. He got close to his father and sat next to him, biting his lips unsure if asking him would be a good idea. He called him to catch his attention and he turned around smiling sweetly "Where did you take mum on your first date?" <br/>His father looked at him more interested than before, he closed the newspaper and cleared his troath "Well... It was a sunny day and your mother had never seen the ocean so I took her to the beach" <br/>"Mmm what about the second one?" <br/>"We probably ate ramen at her house" <br/>"Dad!" the son scolded him, while they could hear his mother giggles from the other room "I mean it, we wanted to go to a fancy restaurant but there was a problem and our reservation was cancelled so we ended up at her house eating ramen and watching a movie" <br/>Han looked thoughtful for a bit "We already do that everyday though, I wanted something special" he mumbled <br/>"What did you say son? Why are you asking me this?" his dad questioned him suspiciously and in that moment his mother also came into the room "Do you want to bring a girl to a date? Finally my baby will have a girlfriend?" she asked with sparkling eyes but Jisung simply stood up, shook his head "was just curious" and returned to his room to pack his things again.</p>
<p>When he reached his room he slowly pick up his phone from the bed where he threw it before but no new messages from Minho had arrived, instead there were some notifications from other chats he still hadn't opened from the day before. But just as he was waiting for him to get back his phone started immediately ringing and Minho's name appeared on the screen. He jumped and almost made the phone fall before answering with shaky hands "Hyung?" <br/>A deep voice came from the other side "Where are you now Jisung?" it was almost a whisper but he heard it clearly and it gave him chills, as he felt it under his own skin "Home" the younger breathed out, he knew he was there so why was he asking that? <br/>"You in your room?" the question made Jisung excited for some reason, he made a single sound of assertion. <br/>"Don't you think you're being too naughty?" the same hoarse voice from before sounded even deeper now, if he was in front of him Han knew how Minho's eyes would look like. It was just like that night. Han could feel his pulse getting faster and his breath unstable" Hannie" the pet name made Jisung bite his lip, he heard a sigh but kept silence "I don't know what to do with you" <br/>"Do what you want" Han challenged him with a confidence he didn't know he could have <br/>"How am I supposed to stay here and not think about you when you keep saying stuff like that? How do you do it?" <br/>"I don't. I think about you everyday" the line was silent so he continued "And I think about that night too" <br/>He heard a groan and the older's breathing intensified "Jisung we can't do this"</p>
<p>"We're not hurting anyone" Han was restless, biting his lips and fingers and moving his leg up and down waiting for the older to say something, feeling exposed and insecure.</p>
<p>"Jisung get ready! I'll pick you up"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi readers, I tried to add texts in this two chapters, I had fun writing them but I hope it was always clear who was texting. If you felt like it isn't tell me so I can add the names before, also for the future.</p>
<p>Thank you so much for reading my story, I reached 5k and wow I'm so happy, thank u so much for the positive feedbacks too <br/>Hope you have a great day &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Confession</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Oh you're ready to go already!" Jisung's mother exclaimed seeing his son carrying his backpack "Let me tell your dad to get the car"<br/>
"it's not necessary, Minho hyung is coming for me" Jisung said trying to have the most normal intonation ever and don't let his excitement transpire. His mother smiled "What a sweetheart, he has always been so good to you. Invite him to a meal next time, I wanna thank him for taking such good care of you" she said nonchalantly to which Jisung simply nodded a little embarrassed<br/>
If she only knew what happened he wouldn't be so sure that'd be still her reaction. Jisung sat on the couch waiting for the message that would've told him he had to go out and his father emerged from his studio "You two became really close, didn't you?" he asked getting to the kitchen to take a glass of water, Han gulped and fix his sight on the ground too embarrassed to look at his parents "Y-yeah I guess, we're members after all just like the others" he mumbled trying to convince them it was nothing special, "I saw you once calling each other soulmates" his mom giggled "it was cute".<br/>
"It was just for show" he lied, they've never done anything just for show and he truly believed it when he said that and he still thought that way, how they were able to get each other no one could ever, but he couldn't tell his parents that, too afraid of their reaction. "Does he know who you like?" his mother abruptly asked, Han jumped up and cleared his throat "W-what?" he stuttered<br/>
"The girl you wanna take on a date! I'm not stupid, I know you didn't ask your father randomly" she smiled sweetly.</p><p>She wasn't completely wrong but she still was. He did wanted to take someone on a date, he actually would that same night, but it wasn't no where close to a girl.<br/>
In that moment he couldn't be more glad to hear his phone ringing, saved by the bell, he thought, although it wasn't a bell but his own song that was filling the room.<br/>
Felix.</p><p>"Lix what's up?"<br/>
"I need your help. When you coming back?"<br/>
"Tonight"<br/>
"Great!" Felix shouted excited<br/>
"Wait but tonight I can't" he looked at his parents in front of him and lowered his voice until he was basically whispering "I'm going out"<br/>
"Oh right. Minho. Date. Got it! When you're back then... Oh no wait maybe you're gonna spend the night at a hotel sorry, then tomorrow morning"<br/>
"I... What? I-we we are not doing that" Jisung stuttered, embarrassed from the other statement<br/>
"You don't want to?"</p><p>That was a simple question but Jisung didn't know how to answer it, did he want to? He couldn't deny the fact he did wanted it. But at the same he knew it would cause problems again</p><p>"I haven't check it in my to-do list for tonight but haven't crossed it out either"<br/>
"Why you talking so criptic?" Felix laughed<br/>
"Anyways tomorrow is fine, but what do you need help with?" Jisung asked noticing his parents had already left the room<br/>
"Well I'm kinda tired of a situation and want to do something to make it better. I'll tell you the details tomorrow. Thanks a lot! Wear the leather jeans tonight they make your ass shine bye" with the last advice he hung up while Han choked a curse</p><p>Minho came to pick him up but to Jisung's surprise he didn't say a word, when he saw him he simply took a big breath and being Jisung unsure of what to say he kept the silence. That until they arrived on the shore of Han's river, the sunset almost finished, everything around them was quickly getting swallowed by darkness. Minho chose a spot to stop where the dim light of a single streetlamp slightly illuminated their faces just enough for them to see each other, but a big tree beside them kept them hide from the people passing by. </p><p>"Do you really believe what you said before?" Minho words came out a little louder than a whisper and his voice giving anticipation while his eyes still showed uncertainty. "Is it enough that we're not hurting anyone?"</p><p>The sudden question left Han dumbfounded and the heavy tension between them was hard to read. He raised his hand to reach for the older, ready to pat his head and joke about the seriousness, as he always did when the mood became too much. When he was embarrassed or when he didn't know how to handle a situation. But in the middle of the way his hand stopped and he realized that if he let this opportunity go he could lost his only chance to understand the other, so he withdraw his hand and asked him instead  "What are you afraid of?"</p><p>"Me. I'm afraid I'll do something to hurt you. That I won't be able to give you what you need. That you'll get bored of me. You. I'm afraid of you. You have so much power over me and I'm afraid of what you could see in me that will disappoint you. Afraid you'll make me lose control and let everything I built up inside flow out. And people. I'm afraid of people are gonna judge us. If it'll be difficult for our parents to accept. If will be a burden for our members that'd risk it all just for us. And finally us. I'm scared one it'll end, maybe we'll fight and our friendship will be ruined and we can't go back. But at the same time I think what if it's worth it? If we do what we feel will anyone even care? " the questions lingering between both of them, Jisung eyes widened at every word he spoke and the older slowly gained confidence raising his voice, finally letting out his emotions and worries. </p><p>"And when all my fears don't let me live, they consume me and it's all so confusing in my head" he gulped looking at Jisung, his eyes showing a tender look "you come and in the simplest way, with the most innocent smile you can wear" he bit his lip hiding a smile "you tell me the words I need to hear. We're not hurting anyone, isn't that the only important thing? My mum used to tell me I can do anything in this life as long as I don't hurt anybody. But can you tell me we're not a burden? Look at us fighting the other day, everyone got so worried and I'm one of the oldest, I should be an example for them, not making them worried. Can you tell me we won't hurt each other? " Jisung didn't know how to answer that and Minho knew, he knew before he even asked, after all he wasn't expecting an answer and maybe didn't even need one "The funny thing is I don't care if you can't assure me that" he chuckled, brushing his hair back with his left hand and letting out a sigh. His eyes becoming darker before he cleared his throat and continued smiling.</p><p>"Because you, you make everything so easy, with you I can be the person I really am, not worrying about anything. I won't lie to you, it's becoming every day harder to hide how I truly feel. I like the way you're so quiet alone and so loud when in group, I like how you cheer everyone up even when you're the one who'd need to be cheered up. I like how you're good at everything and don't even realize it yourself. I like how you eyes sparkle when you sing and you stuff your cheeks with food when you eat. And I like when I hug you and you melt in my arms and I like you. I just do. So I won't care about anyone or anything else, I'll put all my doubts and fears away and I can fight it all if you just answer one question. </p><p><em>Do you want me?</em>" </p><p>That Jisung was speechless was an understatement, Minho had just poured his heart out and he wanted to scream so many things at once but his brain couldn't decide which one to start with, he kept his mouth shut, sure that if he opened it whatever he chose to say first would end up being the only thing to come out of it before tears would stream down his cheeks and sobs filled the silence of the night. So instead he let his actions speak for him as he had always done, he took step forward and gently put his lips on the older's who remained still, paralyzed by the sudden action of the younger. The kiss itself wasn't anything big, it was just a peck, but both of them knew it held so much more than it showed. It was Jisung's answer, it was an affirmation, that he wanted him, he wanted him to fight for him, for them. It meant that he would erase every fear Minho held onto, he would try his best to make it worth it and don't let it be a burden for anyone. He'd accept him at his worst and he wouldn't let other people opinions divide them. It was an answer, but still not a confession, Jisung thought.</p><p>Minho's little smile was the first thing Jisung noticed when he opened his eyes again, giving him the courage to let out the words that had formed a knot in his throat finally ready to come out after so many years "I like you Lino-hyung"  he said politely, glad his voice didn't crack although it was so quiet he wasn't sure the older heard him, smiling shyly with his hands behind his back, he said it in the simplest way and he wanted to apologize for not being able to say anything more, to not make a big confession like the one he just received and mostly for not being able to hold his tears back that now fell down his cheeks that still held a smile. He wanted to explain they were tears of happiness, of relief, of years of fighting and hiding his feelings and finally letting them out but the voice died in his throat. Minho's hand caught a falling tear brushing his cheeks with his thumbs on both sides of his face "Shh don't cry" he whispered showing him a sweet smile to cover his eyes watering, he was happy at least one of them was good at holding the tears back or they would've been a mess by then. "You're a crybaby" he giggled pulling him into a hug and caressing his head until he felt Jisung's sobs stopped and the younger calmed down.</p><p>"C'mon you still owe me that dinner"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. I can wait</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Going back to the dorm with Minho, knowing they'd be going out again in a few minute was a special experience for Han. The moment he opened the dorm's door the eyes of the other members staring at them, curious about how and why were they back together, but he was glad nobody actually said anything, maybe beacuse they ran as fast as they could to their own rooms not letting anyone even open their mouths. Jisung closed the door behind him, heart racing fast, he felt as he could've died in that exact moment. Everything that happened just moments before, their intimate moment and confessions were enough for him to hide in his room until morning came, but instead he now had to actually go out with Minho, on a date. Their first date. After a few seconds a soft knock brought Jisung back from his thoughts, realising he was still standing up with his back on the door and a hand clenching on his chest to calm his heartbeat. He opened the door slightly to see who it was and he was glad to see Felix standing there smiling at him "Need a help?" he said giggling, Jisung thought he must have the ability to read minds and he pulled him inside the room.<br/>
"W-what do I do now?"  Jisung mumbled looking at Felix with scared eyes "What do you mean? You're going on a date, aren't you?"  Jisung nodded, not sure he could be able to say it loud "Then you should dress up now, where are you going?"<br/>
Where were they going? Jisung had thought so much about that and right before Minho arrived at his house he found the answer and booked the table.</p>
<p>"We're eating sushi. Do you remember that restaurant not too far away from the old building?"<br/>
"Were you two spended like a fortune?"<br/>
"That one. It was on the day we got closer and I remember when we went there thinking that I wanted that to be a real date"<br/>
Felix's face lights up and he wear his sweetest smile and chanting "That's so romantic Sungie!" he hugged him.</p>
<p>The two were close friend but in terms of fashion they were really different, Felix spent ten minutes trying to convince Jisung to wear a shirt while the other was insisting it was too much and Minho would've probably wore sweatpants, but he finally gave up when Lix said "Put a jacket on, if he's wearing something comfy, which I doubt, you don't take it off. But if he's dressed up you are too". Though the bickering didn't end there Felix knew exactly what to say this time to convince Jisung "In those pants he'll defintely want to eat you", it's no use to say he received a punchon the shoulder for his comment but surprisingly Jisung just put them on without whining. </p>
<p>Nervous. Jisung was nervous. Felix had gone back to the living room to play with the others and he was ready,  physically speaking. Mentally he was having a meltdown. He had no idea how to approach his date or how to not make it obvious or weird to the others that he was going on a date with Minho. After some minute of biting lips and fingers he received a message from Felix</p>
<p>
  <strong>-I turned the console on and distracted everyone with Fifa come out and take your man out<br/>
-he's waiting for you and looking miserably thinking you've changed your mind or something</strong>
</p>
<p>
Reading the last message gave him the push he needed and walk fast towards the living room, where Minho was waiting for him wearing a long coat and looking at the others busy playing. Glad that no one even glanced at him he reached Minho's side, the moment the older acknowledged his presence immediately smiled and greeted him with his beautiful smile and sparkling eyes that Jisung could never get enough of.<br/>
"Sorry for being a bit late" he whispered, still biting on his lips nervously, Minho shook his head amd reassured him he didn't wait for long. Minho screamed at the others they were going out for dinner in his usual nonchalantly way, as if it was a normal dinner with a bandmate and the answer were the usual "Have fun", "Bring something back" and "Be careful" from Chan, everyone too focused on the game to spare them a glance, except for Felix who turned around and winked at them before turning back and screaming something about a foul.
</p>
<p>
They took a taxi and arrived in front of the restaurant.  When Minho recognized it he immediately turned to look at Han who was just smiling shyly "This is-" he stopped himself admiring the other with incredulous eyes and turning his mouth into a sweet smile he reached for the younger's hand brushing it briefly "It's very sweet of you, didn't know you had such a romantic side to you" he chuckled before both got inside the restaurant. When Minho took off his coat Jisung was glad he had listened to Felix, the older was wearing a silk black shirt and he looked so hot in it Jisung had to gulp afraid he could even drool just from the view, the shirt hugged his chest so perfectly, it wasn't too tight to look small but it wasn't loose at all, not leaving room to imagine how big and fit the other's chest was.
</p>
<p>
The dinner wasn't anything out of the ordinary, they had been having dinner together alone for the past few years too many times to be it awkward, although this time both knew it was different, this dinner had a different meaning. "What made you change idea?" Jisung asked during the meal "You said you didn't want to do this, that it was a mistake. What made you confess?" Jisung was sincerely curious, he couldn't understand the older. Minho hide a smile "Partly what you said to me on the phone, partly something I'll tell you sooner or later" he said raising Jisung's curiosity even more, resulting in the younger pouting a little and Minho pinching his right cheek laughing "I'll tell you I promise, but I like to make you wait".
</p>
<p>
"To await a pleasure, is itself a pleasure. Right?" Jisung asked in a flirty tone "Then I should make you wait for something else too, shouldn't I?" he grinned and winked at the other, who widened his eyes and looked panicky around them, the unreasonable fear that someone could hear, someone could see and tell. When his eyes were back on Jisung he was biting his lips nervously, expecting the older to flirt back. "Are you sure <em>you</em> can wait?" Minho finally answered in a whisper, and Jisung fidgeting became more intense, he ate a mouthful of rice and sipped some wine "I-I can, Felix even asked me if we were going to spend the night at a hotel and I told him we wouldn't" he exclaimed confident, thinking his statement would've made his position better, but the grin on Minho's face soon made him realize of his mistake "Mmm...so you did think about some naughty stuff? And you even talked with Felix about it, interesting" his words made Jisung embarrassed "N-no I just...he knew. And he asked and I-" he hid his face behind his hands too shy to find a good explanation. Minho put a finger under his chin and raised his head "It's fine, I actually thought about it a lot. It's difficult not to think about what happened when you like to come home sweaty from the gym in a tank top that was once white, but turned basically see through" Minho admitted staring directly at Jisung's eyes, who were just lost into the other's.  "And you like to walk in the dorm with only a towel hanging on your hips after you get out of the shower" Han lowered his tone, finally letting the shyness aside. "I didn't do it all last week tho" Minho raised an eyebrow.

</p><p>
"I noticed" Han confessed, he was surprisingly having fun being this honest with the older. "You know why I didn't?" at Minho's question Jisung simply shook his head, the older smirked "Does it ring a bell something colored on my shoulder?" he questioned coming closer to his face and almost whispered "So you like how I look after a shower? Next time why don't you come and see how I look during one?" he teased and Jisung almost coughed up the sip of wine he just took."Real talk... I don't think tonight we should end up at a hotel" Minho admitted, although his low voice and dark eyes were telling something different, Han nodded, hiding a bit his disappointment, that he wasn't even aware of.

</p>
<p>
Dinner finished, and as promised Han payed for both of them. Being idols sometimes wasn't easy when they wanted to pass by unnoticed, but luckily the darkness of the night hide them enough from curious eyes on the streets to let them walk hand in hand. Jisung was the first to take the older's hand and he was happy the other interviewed their fingers without saying a word, both probably too busy blushing, even though they had already went way further that. They somehow reached the shore of Han's river walking together and talking about different topics "Looks like we're here again" Minho started laughing but he immediately stopped when he looked back at Han; the younger was staring at him so lovely, with sparks in his eyes and a timid smile and Minho realized he was doomed "I give up" he confessed, slowly stepping closer Jisung who took a step back, confused by Minho's words, "You're irresistible" Jisung felt the words being whispered directly on his skin as he felt being driven towards the wall behind him, a hand wrapped around his waist holding him firmly, Minho's lips just a inch from his "I surrender to you". The moment their lips joined Jisung closed his eyes, forgetting where they were and that someone's could see them, he closed his arms around Minho's neck, tiptoeing a little to have better access to his mouth and deepen the kiss, while short after Minho's hand slowly travelled below and cupped Han's ass causing the younger to choke a whimper. Hands gripping on hair, caressing bodies and finally finding their place holding each other, they broke the kiss still holding each other hands, foreheads joined while they catch up their breath. 
</p>
<p>
"We should get back home" Han suggested, stopping now before he was too into it to stop himself, and they had an intense day of practice ahead. Once they were back Han wanted to sleep in the other's room, but he didn't want to be too pushy, "Goodnight" he waved at Minho once they were in the hallway, happy that apparently everyone was already asleep, but the older didn't seem to want to let go. He held his waist and left a quickly peck on his lips "Sweet dreams Hannie" he said smiling before heading to his room, leaving a blushing starstruck Jisung behind, that honestly was regretting coming back home and stop at one kiss.
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Morning came by and Jisung was woken up by his usual alarm, at the same hour as any other day. He had a typical breakfast and rode the same van through the everyday route to the company building, and although everything was going on as the same routine he had for years something felt different. He felt less anxious, less insecure, somehow happier.  He couldn't help but smile since the moment he woke up, even though it was still too soon for him, the breakfast tasted better and looking outside of the car window he realized the sun was shining so brightly in the clear sky. "Today's a good day" he told himself still looking outside, ignoring the chuckles of the driver and his manager "I'm sure it is kiddo". He still hadn't seen Minho that morning, they had different schedules, but he didn't mind that much as he had received a pretty sweet good morning message from the older </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>- Good morning &lt;3<br/>
-How did you sleep?<br/>
- I have to be honest I wanted you to come sleep with me but I know it may be too much<br/>
-Maybe next time...<br/>
-Have a nice day, see u at lunch </strong>
  </em>
</p><p>And maybe it was exactly his messages what helped Jisung stay happy throughout his morning schedule, what pushed him to work hard, eagerly waiting for lunch time to come. It was surprising to see the older acting so sweet, but after all he had always been like that, just more with facts than words. Too bad his plans to meet Minho on lunch were destroyed by a message from Felix </p><p>
  <em>
    <strong>-Hannie remember you promised to help me!<br/>
-Let's meet for lunch plss<br/>
-Plus I need to know all the details of last night ;) </strong>
  </em>
</p><p>So at 12pm Jisung closed his pc where he was working on a new song and waited for Felix to reach him to the studio. The door opened and a smiley Lix entered the small room with two plastic bags in hand "I got us burritos" he said placing the bags on the desk and getting a chair closer to Han's. "Thanks Lix, so what did you want to talk about?"</p><p>"Well...first of all how was last night? Had fun?" he asked with a grin to which Jisung only nodded blushing, he still felt somehow weird telling someone about his feelings but he was glad Felix was there for him, making it all feel more normal than he ever thought it could be.  "So what did you wanna talk about?" Jisung asked once he finished his report of his date on the night before.</p><p>"Right. Me now!" Lix exclaimed excited, rolling his sleeves up like he was ready to punch someone "You see I'm tired". Jisung definitely expected more than that and didn't really understand why he would ask him for help  "Oh well we all are, I get it. The practice and all..."</p><p>"No I'm not tired about that, I mean I am but that's not my problem. You and Minho...how did you do it?" Han confused expression gave him the signal to explain further "I mean how did you got over friendzone? Or better...<em>groupmatezone </em>?"</p><p>"Huh?" Jisung scratched his chin not sure how to answer that question "I guess we just..." fucked? Can he say that? It sounds a bit lame but that's actually what happened "You see....we were kinda drunk and it kinda happened. You know the deal" he said in one breath before filling his cheeks with food. Felix on the other side looked pensive, something was bothering him and Jisung realised it was the time to try help him as the other did for him "What's wrong Lix? Why ask me that?" </p><p>"It's..." Felix started but suddenly smashed his water bottle on the table before yelling "Changbin! It's him I'm tired of!" he said looking pissed off "I hug him, kiss him. I keep giving him hints, we cuddle every night but he's just clueless. At this point I'm not sure he's just stupid or very good at pretending" </p><p>"Probably both" </p><p>After talking for a while, Jisung tried to help Felix by telling him what happened between him and Minho and what they could've done better to not hurt or fight in any way but soon enough it was clear the blonde didn't really hear his advices "Thank you so much now I know exactly what I have to do! I'm gonna jump on him next time we're alone and see if he kisses me back!" Jisung seriously wanted to stop him and tell him maybe talking would be better but he was already out of the door jumping happily towards the dance studio and Han could only slapped his forehead, "I'll talk to him again later" he mumbled to himself before going behind the blonde.</p><p>The atmosphere in the dance practice room was nice, as usual, and since they had decided to not tell the other anything Minho and Jisung approached each other very casually,  trying not let anyone see how much they had missed each other all morning. But apparently they weren't very subtle as a question came not long after, it was rather inevitable when the last time everyone saw them together they were screaming at each other and no one knew how the night before went . "So you're okay now? The fight's over?" Chan was the first one to speak, but everyone looked interested in the question. </p><p>"Yeah, it's all ok, we made out" his mouth spoke faster than his brain could think and in one second all eyes were on Han, but before anyone could open their mouths he corrected himself raising his voice louder "Up!Up. We made up" he gestured at nothing and giggled to hide his embarrassment, but he noticed Felix laughing silently and Minho biting his lip to suppress a laugh and raise his eyebrows at him. </p><p>"Oh well I'm glad then, I was scared I had to call a group meeting to help you solve your issues, but I'm happy it was nothing serious and you could fix it yourselves" Chan smiled at them </p><p>"You're a dork" Minho whispered one inch to Jisung's face before pinching his cheeks "But you're so cute" he was smiling so brightly that the younger couldn't help but to think he'd gladly embarrass himself everyday if he'd get to see him smile like that. "So wanna make <em> up</em> some more later?" the older asked alluring in a whisper to his ear and both boys knew he didn't need to hear the answer.</p><p>"W-wait" Minho voice came out as a muffled sound and Jisung only put more pressure to his mouth until they're backing towards until Minho's back hit the desk. "It's fine" Jisung sighed before capturing Minho's lips in another heated kiss "I locked the door and the studio is soundproofed"</p><p>"Still we ca-" Minho let out a surprise moan when Jisung gently sucked a sensitive spot underneath his ear "If you don't want to just stop me" he whispered before moving back upwards to kiss him on the lips again. Both boys quickly began to get flustered, chests rising and falling as they explore each other's mouths. Minho pressed forward closer, pulling on Han's waist so that their chests press together. Jisung began sucking and nibbling in the same spot on the older neck, just above his collarbone while Minho's head was thrown back and his nails digged into the younger's waist. Jisung was as astonished as the older for his confidence in that moment, he had latched at the other as soon as they'd entered he studio, maybe it was because he couldn't sleep well the night before recollecting memories of their first time whining silently to do it again soon, this time both sober and with their feeling cleared.</p><p>Suddenly Minho got bolder and slided both hands down to Jisung's ass, letting his fingernails dig in a little bit.<br/>
They were definitely getting hard now and there was no way in hiding it, not when they were so pressed to each other, but neither of them care about being embarrassed in that moment.<br/>
Jisung found himself eager to let the other know how easily he turned him on, how much he desired him. And Minho never wanted more to fulfill the other's desires, so he squeezed with both hands Jisung's ass, gripped  tightly and lifted him up before putting him on the table behind them.</p><p>Jisung always knew Minho was strong and it never occurred to him before how much that made him drool, the way he was able to pick him up so easily and handle him in a way that made the younger shiver was turning him more then he'd ever imagined and in that moment he realized</p><p>
  <em>I defintely have a strength kink</em>
</p><p>Too bad his train of thoughts of all the different ways he wanted the older to take him was interrupted by a soft knock that made the two lovers immediately freeze at the sound followed by a very familiar voice "Sungie are you there?"</p>
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